The Sexy Side of Fear: Rewriting Mindset with Nicholas Dillon
Welcome to another empowering episode of Rise Urban Nation, hosted by Taryell Simmons. In this episode, we are joined by Nicholas Dillon, a motivational powerhouse, leadership expert, and founder of Believe Wellness Center. Together, they explore how to turn fear into fuel, heal the inner child, and align personal values with lasting success.
Nicholas Dillon shares his personal journey from overcoming intense childhood bullying and planning his suicide at age 16 to dedicating his life to mindset transformation.
The introduction of viewing the fear of failure as something sexy by leaning in with curiosity instead of succumbing to self-doubt.
The humorous story of Nicholas accidentally uploading an unedited test video and discovering that authenticity resonates far more than perfectionism.
The analogy of a child riding a bicycle with bent training wheels, illustrating how mental barriers often outlast real-world limitations.
A deep exploration into why professionals must align their personal values with their workplace to avoid emotional burnout.
Reframing Fear: Treating fear of failure as an intriguing challenge that invites curiosity and calculated risk-taking.
Healing Subconscious Trauma: Engaging in dialogue between the present adult self and younger versions of oneself to heal past wounds.
Core Value Alignment: Utilizing value assessments to clarify personal purpose and navigate interpersonal and corporate relationships.
Overcoming the Inner Critic: Recognizing when the ego is attempting to sabotage progress by dredging up past perceived failures.
Daily Container Practices: Sustaining long-term resilience by dedicating morning routines to meditation, physical health, and spiritual growth.
Reframe failure as an essential component of the growth journey rather than a reason to self-select out.
Do the necessary inner work to heal emotional activations before launching entrepreneurial ventures.
Audit personal and organizational values regularly to ensure full alignment and maintain self-worth.
Prioritize consistent daily action over unattainable standards of perfection.
Nicholas Dillon is an international motivational speaker, leadership development consultant, addiction counselor, and the founder of Believe Wellness Center in Dallas, Texas. With more than two decades of professional experience in personal development and organizational leadership, he specializes in belief restructuring and mindset mastery. You can connect with him online at https://nicholasdillon.com or across social media as the Believe Coach.
Taryell Simmons: Welcome back to another episode of Rise Urban Nation, where we spotlight the journeys of transformational leaders across the Black and Pan-African diaspora. What if fear was not something to avoid, but something to understand and embrace? Our guest today, Nicholas Dillon, is a motivational powerhouse, leadership expert, and founder of Believe Wellness Center. He has spent decades helping people and organizations turn fear into fuel. Today, he is going to teach us how to see fear as sexy. Nicholas, how are you doing today?
Nick Dillon: Thank you for having me. I am excited to be here and dialogue with you.
Taryell Simmons: Our journey goes back to New York last year. I remember first meeting you and hearing your motivational insights around belief systems and values. How did you go from corporate leadership and counseling to becoming this motivational force and mindset coach?
Nick Dillon: It has been an interesting journey into the helping profession, which I believe is my calling and purpose. I started in the corporate field working in insurance and risk management before shifting into corporate learning, development, and leadership training. Participants would often ask for ongoing support beyond the classroom, which led me into coaching and consulting. I built a consulting company in Wisconsin, relocated to Dallas in 2021, and launched another company focused on coaching and addiction counseling. I used to do a lot in network marketing, but during meditation, God told me that if I shifted all that energy into my true purpose centered around belief, it would sustain me. For the past twenty years, I have worked in the space of mindset and beliefs. That work is personal to me because at age sixteen, severe bullying and health issues led me to plan my suicide. That became my pivot point to embark on self-development, love myself, and unpack old beliefs that no longer served me.
Taryell Simmons: Thank you for sharing that personal testimony. How did Jamar enter your story?
Nick Dillon: I met Jamar through the National Black MBA Association in Wisconsin at a Milwaukee Bucks game. We connected, and since he was building a photography and video business, I invited him to my office to cover my annual live event, Think and Believe Live. He and his team did amazing work for me over the years, and I referred him to others because I believe in advocating for and mentoring each other.
Taryell Simmons: In the green room, you were talking about the sexy side of fear. Can you break down that concept?
Nick Dillon: When we embark on entrepreneurship or new ventures, the fear of failure is often our biggest hindrance. However, fear of failure only has power because of the beliefs we hold about ourselves. I decided to twist the concept and encourage people to see fear as sexy. When we find something sexy, our eyes are on it, we are preoccupied with it, we lean into it, and we are willing to take risks. Before we achieve success, we often fail or encounter roadblocks. Failure is simply part of the journey. When we remove the fear and embrace failure as a natural step, it ceases to be intimidating. The inner critic tries to protect us by reminding us of past mistakes. To snap out of it, we have to ask ourselves what we learned from the experience and keep moving forward.
Nick Dillon: A few years ago, I decided to test out live video recording. I recorded a video just testing the sound and being goofy, intending only to do a practice run, but I accidentally hit upload. Hours later, I saw that people were laughing, commenting positively, and answering my questions. My inner critic initially told me I had failed, but the feedback proved that all roads lead back to our own perception. It taught me that things do not have to be perfect; you just have to put the message out there.
Taryell Simmons: That shows that having a message from the heart carries real weight.
Nick Dillon: Exactly. When I wanted to learn TikTok two years ago, I initially hesitated because the learning curve felt too steep. Then I saw my granddaughter using it effortlessly. I leaned into curiosity, started on January first, and posted a video every day for a year. That practice helped me master tools like Canva and proved that something is only a failure if your mindset decides to self-select out. It is like riding a bike. When my son was learning, his training wheels accidentally bent upward without him realizing it. He kept riding successfully because his mind still believed he had support. Once we clear the mental blockage, momentum takes over.
Taryell Simmons: What do you say to someone who appears successful on the outside but is battling anxiety and self-doubt underneath?
Nick Dillon: Do the inner work before you start. If you begin with unaddressed fear and anxiety, that fear becomes your kryptonite. Limitless possibilities already exist as a mindset. If your inner critic is unhealed, you default to self-doubt once external validation fades. As an entrepreneur, you cannot operate from a mental deficit; you must operate as though your success is already manifesting. When I was sixteen, my low self-esteem stemmed from beliefs of unworthiness formed between ages zero and seven. In adulthood, past experiences can cause us to be emotionally activated. The work requires my fifty-seven-year-old self to speak to my seven-year-old self, provide comfort, and heal that root trauma so it no longer controls the present.
Taryell Simmons: The healing process is constant because different ages of our past self carry different scars.
Nick Dillon: We must constantly ask ourselves what version of ourselves is showing up. If we do not actively grow, an adult can easily react from the mindset of an unhealed seven-year-old. We have to give ourselves grace and empathy as we strive for the next best version of who we are.
Taryell Simmons: What is a coaching transformation that stands out to you?
Nick Dillon: I coached a client for six months who had severe self-doubt despite graduating with a master's degree as a nurse practitioner. By unpacking her fears of both failure and success, she realized she was enough. She passed her national exam and secured her ideal role. All the systems in the world will not work if your mindset is not right.
Taryell Simmons: What are your go-to tools when someone is feeling stuck?
Nick Dillon: I guide clients through a values exercise and a risk-reward exercise to identify self-defeating beliefs. Your values drive your why. Once your values are clearly defined on paper, you evaluate how you are honoring or dishonoring them. Breakdown in communication and workplace dissatisfaction happen when values are misunderstood or ignored.
Taryell Simmons: Early in my career, I left an organization because it prioritized profit over people, which contradicted my core values. Walking away restored my self-worth.
Nick Dillon: When you choose not to dishonor yourself, you acknowledge your intrinsic value. If an organization's mission does not align with who you are, staying causes emotional distress. Many employees stay in misaligned roles to maintain a lifestyle, but genuine fulfillment requires value alignment.
Taryell Simmons: What piece of advice would you give to your younger self or the next generation of Black leaders?
Nick Dillon: I would remind them that they are good enough. Never believe that you are not. When you believe in your capabilities and know that success is meant for you, you are already halfway there.
Taryell Simmons: How do you stay grounded while pouring into so many others?
Nick Dillon: Every morning, I fill my own container through meditation, workouts, praise, and audiobooks. By keeping my cup full, others receive the overflow rather than a depleted version of me.
Taryell Simmons: How can listeners connect with you and the Believe Wellness Center?
Nick Dillon: You can find me across social media as Nick Dillon and the Believe Coach, or visit my website at https://nicholasdillon.com. I am launching a new VIP mindset shifting day and masterclass to support people in getting out of their own way.
Taryell Simmons: If you are ready to rethink fear and reclaim your mindset, this episode is your blueprint. Keep rising and keep building.
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