Adesola Akindele

Accountability and Safe Spaces in Leadership

Adesola Akindele: We did have a situation like that, and it was a check for me, because I realized it should never have happened. Something got dropped, and I took responsibility for it. Someone with my experience, at this stage of my life, should not allow that to happen. And I want to correct you on something: you said you put me in that situation. I do not want you to look at it that way. It was a situation where I let that happen. That is what taking responsibility and accountability means.

Adesola Akindele: You gave me a space safe enough that I was not afraid of what would happen to our relationship once I made that declaration, and that is a testament to the kind of leader you are. It is very important to create safe spaces where someone can come to you and tell you what is not right, instead of holding back because they do not want to hurt your feelings. You have to be humble enough to hear it. Those are the conversations that improve you as a person, not the ones where people are just cheering you on. When I was on my healing journey, the conversations where someone checked me helped me the most, because that person was telling me something I was not listening to.

Taryell Simmons: I love that you said that, because you got to witness in real time something we are both working on. In my earlier leadership, I would always take accountability, even when it was not my mess, and find a way to fix it. This new version of my leadership is learning to hold accountability where accountability lies. Thank you for bringing that to our attention.

Lessons from the Wellness Journey

Taryell Simmons: I want to end on lessons. What lessons have you learned from your wellness journey that you would like to share with aspiring entrepreneurs, community activists and social innovators, particularly within the Black and Pan-African communities?

Adesola Akindele: The first thing is to realize that the work is intrinsic. The only external thing is the environment you are in, so you have to take responsibility for getting yourself out of it. Everyone who has experienced success has had that key moment. One thing about social anxiety is that you think people will see the chaos within. So I decided to seek peace, and anything that did not match that level of peace was not for me. I am a fixer, a solution-led person, but I am not like that anymore. Do not bring the problem to me; I will tell you I know someone who would be happy to help. Especially when someone keeps digging their own hole, you cannot take Tylenol for someone else's headache. These are the boundaries you need to set.

Adesola Akindele: You need to build your own garden. If someone needs help, give them an apple or a seed, but do not leave your garden to grow weeds while you are gone. Tend to yourself. And be prepared, because when you start a healing journey, you pause the adrenaline that kept you pumping, and your body will manifest what was already there. Do not be shocked if an illness pops up. You fueled yourself with a toxin that made you think nothing was wrong. So many diseases seem to come from nowhere, but they are behaviors, toxicity and trauma manifesting in your body. Do not think you buried a trauma and it is gone. It is there. For me, it showed up in my neck, because I had held my tongue for so long. That is why my face reflects what I really want to say.

Adesola Akindele: If you are not ready to hear what I want to say, do not ask me that question in public. If you are ready, be prepared, because I will say what I need to say and then make a suggestion. I am writing a new book, Found Her Harmony, about that wellness part. The key thing I would say is to raise your vibration. Think of yourself as a sound wave with a baseline. When something bad comes in, it goes low, and it is hard to climb back up. Even when you get very excited, you feel some kind of way coming back down. You need to lift your baseline.

Taryell Simmons: Lift your baseline, ladies and gentlemen, and raise your vibrations. Why do you think we are so soulful as a people and dance around? We have to raise the vibration. To recap: prioritize yourself and your well-being, not just your physical health but your mental and emotional wellness. Create a supportive work environment, avoid toxic work cultures, and do not be afraid to set boundaries.

The Three-Day Work Week

Taryell Simmons: This one is for the entrepreneurs, and maybe people in the social innovation space. Before we hit record, you talked about a three-day work week, which I think could be incredibly effective. Can you tell people what that is and how you implemented it?

Adesola Akindele: I have a three-day work week. I did not start there; I started with a four-day work week and then moved to three days. The funny thing is that I have more impact and more influence now than I did with the seven-day weeks I worked years ago, because I am doing the things that match my frequency instead of everything that throws me all over the place and burns me out. Because I know I have limited time to work, I am very intentional and very stingy about what I do with those hours.

Adesola Akindele: I also take four breaks a year, designed so that when burnout is coming, I take that break. I used to say I would look at email when I got back. Now my message says I will be away, so please send the email again, because I will not read what came in before. If that offends you, you should not be writing to me in the first place. My birthday, June 15, is right in the middle of the year, so I take a break then, and I take summer off to spend time with my daughter and help her prepare for the next school year.

Adesola Akindele: Design the kind of life you want early and be intentional. Do not just say you want to retire and do what everybody else is doing. Decide what you want your life to look like. Any decision that takes you further away from that is on you. Maybe a job pays less but gives you more time for what matters. Stop basing your decisions on lack, and base them on the way you want to feel. I wanted peace, not just happiness. You can be happy with no peace. Peace is like still water, a river with trees, mountains and clouds, not a sky where lightning is about to strike. Create that invisible bubble around yourself with boundaries, and do not put yourself in environments that attract toxic results.

Raising Your Vibration and Practicing Release

Adesola Akindele: We have the amazing gift of free will. Why are you choosing to do something? If it is because your friends are doing it, rethink your group of friends. Check yourself on what your low vibes are, list them, and keep yourself balanced. And practice release.

Taryell Simmons: In the Black community, we have a saying: check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Adesola Akindele: Yes, check yourself. This may ruffle some feathers, but people say forgive and forget. Let's be real: you do not forget. You can forgive, but I believe the forget part was added by people who wanted you to forget so they could keep doing what they were doing. Release is the key. You release the person or the situation, and you release the trauma. Releasing trauma is very intentional, because you may have forgotten the person, they may not even be alive, but what they did is still there and still left a scar. Do it in a peaceful state of mind, where you actually feel it going. Be intentional: manifest, affirm what is for you, and do what you need to do to cement it. For me, that is prayer, but do it whatever way works for you.

Daily Rituals for Maintaining Wellness

Taryell Simmons: Affirming your truth and releasing is invaluable advice. I am adding that to my list. How do you specifically stay healthy and manage stress? Mindfulness practices, regular exercise, quality time with family?

Adesola Akindele: The last thing I was going to say was maintenance: how you choose to maintain it. I now struggle to listen to mainstream music or watch certain programs, because those things feed what is going on with you. Sleep is my friend; I am in bed by 8 p.m. I drink at least two 64-ounce bottles of water a day, so I am up to use the bathroom at night. I leave my phone in a different room, I am off Facebook, and Saturday is my no-tech day. I do not touch my computer, and sometimes I even leave my phone at home, so if you call me on a Saturday, please do not be upset. Sunday is my Sabbath, when I start looking at the work ahead, and I have two other days off during the week to catch up so I do not burn out. I have learned not to move at the same pace as the rest of the world.

Adesola Akindele: If you look at my calendar, it may look like I do not have time, but those times are set. I do not do more than three meetings a day, because my brain cannot function beyond that, and everything is done by 2 p.m. so I am not exhausted for my daughter. It looks relaxed, but it is designed intentionally. In the morning I do my MAPS: manifestation, affirmation and prayers. In the afternoon I do sound healing to cleanse whatever I need to, and at night I listen to certain frequencies, especially after a difficult conversation. If you do not have a paid streaming service, there is lots of free material on YouTube.

Adesola Akindele: Exercise is part of it. I am a Pilates fan, although I hurt my shoulder skydiving last year. With food, I sometimes do a three-day vegetable and fruit detox with no cooked food or meat, I eat more fish and turkey, and I fast every day until noon, with just a cup of coffee or tea, and I do not eat after 6 p.m. So if you invite me to dinner, it will have to be lunch. I am not apologetic about those choices. When I step outside my system and something goes wrong, I ask myself why, because it was not worth it. I also journal. When I am struggling with an emotion, I write it down, and when I read it back, I check myself. I used to need an accountability partner, and at one point that was you, but I told you last year that I needed to be able to do this for myself.

Embracing Change and Knowing Your Value

Taryell Simmons: It is all needed. Thank you for coming on and being vulnerable enough to share all of this. I know there is more coming in the book, and I cannot wait for the speaking tour, because so many people need this. Until the book comes out, where can everybody connect with you and learn about your work and your wellness journey?

Adesola Akindele: Follow me on Instagram. I do not post much on my page, but my stories are all about the process I am going through, and I repost the pages that help me, so follow those too. I plan to share the playlist of healing frequencies that helped me on the blog post for this episode. TikTok is another place where I repost helpful things. Some are way out there, but I always keep an open mind. If you are not happy, it means what you are feeding yourself, the people you hang around with and what you do every day are making you sick. If you want a different life, you cannot keep doing the same things every day. You must embrace change. If you are afraid of change, you are stuck.

Adesola Akindele: I have always been a fan of change, and I am intentionally making moves for the next phase of my life. I used to be very spontaneous, but I realized that affected other people. Now I think about something and bounce it off someone more pragmatic than me. Another thing I had to realize is value. Knowing your value is not about monetary worth; it is about understanding your gifts. Many things that feel normal to me are gifts to others. It is understanding not just what I bring to the table, but how I come to the table, and the level of understanding others in the room have, so I can deliver my message in a way that everyone gets something. That is very powerful.

Taryell Simmons: I am the more pragmatic person here. We will have to do a whole other episode on value, because when you know your value and how you perceive it, you learn to go where you are appreciated. You can also connect with Sola on LinkedIn and learn about the HyGear journey and Keeping It Clean Global. Do not forget to subscribe to Rise Urban Nation for more inspiring stories and invaluable insights. Thank you for tuning in, and we will see you on the next episode.

Adesola Akindele: It has been a pleasure.